3 things you can do if you're feeling overwhelmed
I know that as business owners, we have so many hats to wear - not to mention our normal life demands, too. And so overwhelm seems to feature in our lives quite often. It’s often one of the main struggles I talk to my clients about, too, because there’s often so much to do, with so little time.
FULL SCRIPT
Hello and welcome back to Episode 83.
We are slowly easing out of lockdown here in the UK, and with that come the new demands on our time - for us it’s been in the form of various after school activities, more time spent in the car, the usual dinner rush, and balancing all of that with wanting to spend time outside, as we have been doing over the various stages of lockdown.
These are just normal life demands - it’s nothing out of the ordinary, but when we put it in the perspective of the last year or so, it’s actually quite an adjustment. Going from slow ish mornings without the usual school rush, to suddenly having very little time in the day. Of course I know that each one of us has had different demands and challenges to work with.
And whilst we might be really excited to get back to ‘normal’, whatever that was, it’s also now more important than ever that we take our time to ease back in - to go gently. It’s actually no surprise that moving back to the previous pace of life, whether out of choice or not, is taking more out of us right now.
The clients and business friends I speak to are all talking of feelings of fatigue, and generally just having a much smaller capacity. And so it’s no wonder that so many of us are feeling overwhelmed right now - myself included.
Whilst I’m doing my best to manage it - there are days were things simply feel too much. I’m having to pace myself in a way I’m not used to.
I often talk about this here, but my first few years in business were filled with late nights, because I had a full time job, and then when I took my business full time, I struggled to switch off. Working from home definitely doesn’t help as my computer, and my desk, are always really accessible, which means it’s easy to just turn that computer on and answer a few emails.
It’s a constant practice of remembering, forgetting, and having to remind myself again - that rest is an integral part of our life and work. There are no quick fixes when it comes to overwhelm, or if there are, they’re usually short term. And so it’s in this practice of remembering, forgetting, and remembering again, that we find ways to deal with it.
Overwhelm may show up in different ways for you - you might be struggling to sleep well, the small day to day tasks may feel much more difficult, you may feel stressed without being able to pinpoint exactly what’s causing it. Your motivation and energy levels may be low, or perhaps you’re struggling to focus - of course this isn’t an exhaustive list and overwhelm may present itself in many different ways. I think it’s also important to say that overwhelm is not the only thing that could be causing you to feel this way.
But I know that as business owners, we have so many hats to wear - not to mention our normal life demands, too. And so overwhelm seems to feature in our lives quite often. It’s often one of the main struggles I talk to my clients about, too, because there’s often so much to do, with so little time.
Of course there are many things we can do to prevent reaching a state of overwhelm - things we can implement in our day to day lives, but for this episode, I wanted to focus on the times when things just get on top of us - when it all feels a bit too much.
One of the things that I come back to, again and again, is stripping my to do list to the absolute essentials. It’s not always convenient - sometimes near impossible if you have important client work scheduled in, that cannot be moved. For me, this type of work is usually weddings - it’s not exactly possible to reschedule - and so I try my best to make sure that I clear everything else around it.
But on most days, I’m usually able to clear out my schedule - any non urgent tasks get moved to another list. This goes for the podcast, too. Whilst I like to share the episodes consistently when I’m launching a new season, the truth is, sometimes it just has to take a back seat, and I’m totally okay with that. The pressure to constantly be consistent is often partially to blame for our feelings of overwhelm in the first place. We’re constantly receiving messages that tell us if we’re not consistent with our content, that we’re doing it wrong.
So - non urgent stuff can go onto another list. I know that I can deal with it later, and chances are, if I take time to rest properly, I’ll come back with a lot more capacity to deal with this stuff anyway.
Any urgent tasks can then be divided into two categories - if you have help in your business, in whatever capacity - is it possible to delegate this task? I know that, for the most part, we’re the only person working in our business and therefore delegating isn’t an option. Can you chat to your client and explain that there may be a slight delay? If that doesn’t work - and you simply have to get your work done, can you ask for support in other areas of your life?
This leads me onto point number 2 - leaning into the support available to you. If support in your normal work stuff isn’t available - what about support in other areas of your life? Can you ask your partner to do the school drop off so you have more time to yourself, whatever that may look like? Where can you be doing less right now? Ordering a take out, or one of those recipe boxes for the week to take another thing off your list? Of course leaning into the support available to you doesn't always mean it has to involve spending money - as that’s not always an option, nor does it have to be. Maybe it’s leaning into the support your friends or family can offer - maybe it’s simply having a phone conversation to offload all the things you’re worrying or feeling right now. In fact - another thing I use when I’m feeling overwhelmed is writing a list of all the things swirling around in my head. Just getting it all down on paper helps me to clear my head a little. It doesn’t solve everything, sure, but it allows me to get some perspective on all the things I feel like I ‘should’ be doing. Going back to that list I mentioned earlier - about what’s urgent, and what isn’t - it often helps me realise that a lot of the stuff I feel like I need to get done, aren’t urgent at all, and can wait until I’m feeling better/have more energy or capacity to deal with them.
But back to leaning on the support you have available to you - for me recently, this looked like asking my husband to do the school pick up and take our son to his football practice so that I could have a full day of doing very little, other than watching TV. It’s often the small and simple things we can do that get overlooked.
So when that overwhelm comes knocking - ask yourself, what can I be doing less of right now - and how can I lean into the support I have available to me? I know it’s not easy to ask for help - in fact I find this really, really difficult as someone who learned to be really independent growing up. So perhaps asking for help with something that feels small - and doable, as so often we can only get comfortable with something by actually doing it. So starting small is a great start and may just help you take the edge off.
Number 3 - there’s this quote, I’m not entirely sure where it comes from and whether it’s very accurate - but it goes something like this: You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes every day - unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.
It sounds counterintuitive - right? How could we possibly do that if we don’t have the time. And this isn’t about meditating as such - but I feel that it applies to finding quiet pockets of time in our day. And this isn’t an attempt to make you feel less than if you’re struggling to find even 5 minutes for yourself - it really isn’t about that at all. Some days - that’s exactly what my days look like, with next to zero time for myself. BUT - we also have agency over how we spend our time. And whilst it may sometimes be really difficult to find pockets of time to simply do nothing at all - I really feel that this is the stuff we don’t talk about enough. That doing nothing is actually an integral part of doing the work. Allowing ourselves the headspace means we’re able to tackle our work in a different, more constructive way. It gives us perspective, and allows us to be proactive rather than reactive.
So the next time you catch yourself thinking you don’t have the time - can you take 3-4 minutes to stand outside on a patch of grass? To enjoy your hot drink before it gets cold, whilst staring out of the window? Can you take a few minutes to sit in silence, focusing on your breath? Or better yet - lying down on the floor, allowing your body to be supported by the floor - and just simply taking a few minutes to reset? To recharge? It’s not about finding an hour of free time each day - that’s not always possible and that’s the reality of most modern, busy lives. But we do have a choice in how we spend our time, and if overwhelm is something you struggle with often - perhaps giving yourself a few minutes here and there could make the world of difference. And you won’t know until you try, so if you’re listening to this and you have a few minutes now, as we wrap this up - just take some time to do nothing.
And remember - that this feeling of overwhelm too shall pass. Tomorrow is a new day. Sending you love - and until next time, I’ll see you soon.